Action and Transformation

Monday, July 28

Reminder for the men: I’m launching a new passion project to help men add discipline and direction to their life. Check it out at nodrift.beehiiv.com

I was talking with a young married couple recently about the growth that comes early in marriage as you are learning to navigate all that comes with that phase of the relationships. Specifically we were talking about identifying and helping each other change negative patterns of behavior.

One thing I reminded them of is that pointing out a negative behavior in your spouse, and them agreeing that it is a tendency that needs to change, doesn’t mean it immediately changes. They will probably still mess up the next time they are in a situation where that tendency comes out. They’ve thought and acted that way for years, so it will take time for the behavior to change. You don’t need to shame them every time it happens or act like they aren’t trying. Give them grace and remind them. Call them up. Eventually, old habits will break and new habits will form. But you can’t expect them to change if you don’t give them time to change.

The same is true for us, and anyone we are leading, on our journey of growth. Just because you decide to get better today doesn’t mean all of your unhealthy habits go away tomorrow. Those thought patterns are still there. Those tendencies are still there. You’ve spent your whole life thinking and acting that way and it will take time to change those thought patterns and those actions. Give yourself and others grace along the way. Don’t beat yourself up when you screw up. It’s just a reminder that you are still a work in progress.

Awareness is the starting line. Action isn’t immediate transformation. Progress is a process. Trust the process. Keep showing up.
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Keep chopping wood. 🪵🪓

-Kevin