Building willpower

Tuesday, January 16

We’ve all been in that moment. We know what we need to do, but we don’t do it. We convince ourselves that we can’t do it. We find every reason to not do it. It’s “too cold” for the run or we’re “too tired” for the workout we’re “too busy” for that project. Or maybe it’s just not convenient for our life or not fun enough or exciting enough or it’s not our job and won’t get us noticed so why do it? We find every excuse to justify our lack of action.

And the next difficult moment? The same result.

We train ourselves to be weak, to be unmotivated, to have no willpower or discipline.

I’ve said it probably dozens of times in this newsletter (and thousands more times in keynotes, videos, team sessions and coaching cals), but the more you avoid doing difficult things the more likely you are to continue avoiding difficult things. The more you do the difficult thing, the better you get at doing difficult things.

Now, there is science behind this. On a recent podcast, neuroscientist and professor of neurology Dr. Andrew Huberman shared new research on what he called, “one of the most important discoveries neuroscience has ever made.” What they’ve discovered is when you do things you don’t want to do, a part of the brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex grows. When you avoid those things, it shrinks. It is larger and growing in people who are in shape, who have overcome challenges, who are confident. Scientists are calling this area the seat of willpower. The more it grows, the more willpower you have.

This discovery, in normal terms, means that by doing things you don’t want to do, you build willpower, mental toughness, confidence. The more you avoid the things you don’t want to do, this area shrinks. You lose willpower and resilience.

It is inevitable in life that you will be faced with difficult moments. If you are not prepared for those moments, you will give up. You will fold under the pressure. You will not be able to handle the adversity. But those who choose to do hard things daily will be ready for those moments. They will power through those moments. This is the entire premise of my new book on how bison charge into a storm. (it’s not ready yet, but stay tuned)

Here’s the beautiful part. It doesn’t care about how much money you have, what title you have, how much time you have, what your past is like, what your situation is like. It only care about what you do with the choice in front of you. Willpower is available for everyone, but it will not be built by everyone.

Resilience is a choice. Resilience is a skill. Resilience is a competitive advantage in life. Don’t hope for it. Build it.
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Keep chopping wood. 🪵🪓

-Kevin