Pressure and peace

The next edition of NO DRIFT, a newsletter for men who want to close the gap between who they are and who they want to be, goes out tomorrow. Get it here.

Friday, August 15

Most pressure comes from one (or both) of two places:

1. Caring too much about what others think.

2. Not being secure in who you are.

The first is almost always the result of the second. When you’re confident in your identity, other people’s opinions lose their grip.

That’s why most pressure isn’t real. It’s manufactured. It’s fear whispering lies designed to make you freeze.

Should we care what others think? To a degree. Our reputation matters. Influence matters. But it turns toxic the moment we let others define our worth, identity, or peace. When that happens, we start living with a constant, false pressure: Will they think I’m good enough? That question never leads anywhere healthy. Whether “they” think you are or not, the next step is still yours to take.

The same is true with insecurity. When you’re not at peace with who you are, fear tells you that you must win this game, nail this presentation, or succeed in this moment. If you don’t, you’re a failure. But that’s not true. “I’m not good enough” is a soundtrack that only produces negative outcomes internally, no matter what happens externally. Fear is never satisfied.

Pressure tells you that the outcome defines you. Wins and losses fade, but our character is what remains.

So what if today, you just operated in freedom?
Be secure. Be humble. Be confident.
You’re not perfect and you don’t need to be.
You have room to grow and that’s opportunity.
You’ve done the work so trust yourself.

Pressure is only as real as you allow it to be. You’re better, for yourself and for others, when you operate from peace.


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Keep chopping wood. 🪵🪓

-Kevin