Thought habits

Wednesday, March 12

I love the discussion around habits. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Show me your habits, and I’ll show you your future.” And it’s true. Our habits shape our lives.

We think about habits in obvious areas:

Our work habits.
Our communication habits.
Our habits around diet and exercise.
Our habits with money.
Our habits in giving and receiving feedback.
Our habits in handling adversity.

But the habit most people overlook - the one that dictates all the others - is their habit of thought. Because before you act, before you respond, before you even make a decision… you think.

Your thought habits shape how you interpret situations, and that interpretation determines how you respond.

Event → Thought → Response

For example:

Event: You receive feedback that your work wasn’t up to standard.
Your response will depend entirely on your habit of thought.

Here are three possible thought habits:

Defensive: “That jerk. They have no clue how hard I worked on that. Meanwhile, they were out for two days last week.”

Self-Critical: “This is so embarrassing. I knew I’d screw this up. I always do.”

Growth-Oriented: “Didn’t expect that, but maybe they’re right. I should figure out what I missed.”

Each thought leads to a different response:

Defensive Thought → Defensive Response: “Why are you always criticizing me? While you were out last week, I was the one doing all the work.”

Self-Critical Thought → Shutting Down: ::head down, avoiding eye contact:: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Maybe someone else, somebody better, should do it.”

Growth-Oriented Thought → Productive Response: “Got it. Can you clarify what you’re seeing and expecting? I want to make sure I get it right next time.”

The way you think determines the way you respond.

And odds are, you don’t just respond this way once. You respond this way every time. Because you have a habit of thinking that way.

If your instinct is to get defensive, it’s because you have a habit of interpreting feedback as an attack.
If you shut down, it’s because you have a habit of equating feedback with failure.
If you seek clarity, it’s because you have a habit of seeing feedback as an opportunity to improve.

You don’t just need better external habits - you need better thought habits. Because your habits don’t change until your thoughts do.

Make your mindset your advantage.
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Keep chopping wood. 🪵🪓

-Kevin